Thursday, January 31, 2013

I NEED Your Support... To Be Healthy

We've all seen the show. Some Most of us are inspired by it. We see these average, over weight people go on The Biggest Loser and miraculously transform into healthier people. Even the people who only went there for a week, are "suddenly" changed. This is all a lie. To me at least.

This is not going to be easy. I'm already hyperventilating as I'm typing this post. It's not the fact that I have to loose weight. Or to accept the fact that I'm fat. Yes, fat. The part that is hard to digest is writing this for anyone to see. Family, friends, random strangers, people who Google me, are all going to see this. That is the hard part.

 Let me move on. I've ALWAYS most of my life, been fat. From birth-5 years old I was healthy. Then I had really bad ear infections and lost 80% of my hearing. I had surgery to put tubes in, my tonsils and adenoids out. My hearing got better but after that I gained weight and never lost it. In fact I kept gaining, and gaining, and gaining.
I'm on the right, 3 years old
I've always been active. Played softball, basketball and dance until high school. In high school I did track, tennis, band, and ran a 1/2 marathon. But I've always been overweight and it kept me from a lot of things. I never had a lot of dates, wasn't part of the "popular" crowd, didn't do the typical high school things. It made prom dress shopping miserable. It made my senior trip not fun because I was embarrassed to be in a bathing suit. It held me back.

Senior Picture 2006
Senior Prom, 2007
Then I went to college. That was even worse. I tried for a sorority but no one wants the fat girl. Especially when you go to a Big 10 school full of beautiful people. I had a hard time making a lot of friends. I wasn't confident to go out so I spent most of the nights in my dorm room instead of going out with the other girls on my floor. You learn to self-cope. You learn to be the "fat friend" who will be by your side no matter what. You learn to take head-shots instead of full-body shots. You learn to ignore the sales girls who won't come near you because you both know you won't fit in any of the clothes in the store. You learn to be the wing-woman with guys because every girl things a guy out with a "fat friend" is sympathetic and charming. You learn to be someone who you don't want to be and put a smile on your face so everyone knows its ok.

Freshman year, Fall 2007
Sophomore year, Fall 2007
Well I can't do it any longer. I don't want to spend any more nights alone and not having fun because of my weight. I don't want the sympathetic stares, I want the "dang she's cute" stares. I don't want to only take head-shots I want full-body, full of life and adventure shots. I don't want to be the wing-woman I want to have the boyfriend/husband that everyone is jealous of. I want to be healthy, fit, and free from this burden. But most importantly, I want to be me.

Senior year, 2011
Summer, 2011
 So I'm taking the steps to do this. I've joined a gym I really like. I'm trying clean eating and loving it. I'm doing all the steps I can. What I don't have is support. No one in my life really struggles with their weight. I don't have friends who truly understand. My family doesn't understand. My colleagues don't understand. When I say I really shouldn't have something, I mean it. But I don't want to be the person who lets people down, so I go. I NEED support. I NEED to loose this weight.

Fall, 2011
 Will you support me? Any is better than none.


  1. I will support you! Its hard but you can do this!
    I'm also on a weight loss journey join me!


  2. What can I do? I will help any way I can. Seriously. Tell me what to do and then consider it done.

  3. Hey Elle!!
    Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and commenting! I figured I'd come by and give you some lovin as well :) I meant to comment on your 5 for five but I kept reading and reading..and then had to stop by and comment here! I think you are so brave for writing this post, and making up your mind to accomplish this goal of losing weight and being healthy. I am your newest follower and am here to cheer you on as you start on this new journey!! I can't wait to hear about all the success that you WILL accomplish, I too am here to support you..just let me know what I can do!! ALSO since I hear that you are also a third grade teacher, gotta stick with my fellow third graders :) Let me know if you ever have any questions regarding teaching, school, anything that you can think I can help you with!! It sounds like you're having a pretty smooth year so far balancing things out. I had a tough first year and came home crying almost every single day....if I can be of any help let me know what I can do!!
    Looking forward to hearing more from ya!
    Courtney :) :)

  4. Hi love! I'm so sorry I missed this post when you first had it posted! You know I would have been here sooner had I seen! Elle, you really put yourself out here in this post and for that I am SO PROUD of you! I KNOW it takes guts & courage to be so honest & so real out here on the Internet where anyone can see. I'm so sorry that you're struggling. First, you should know that you are absolutely and positively beautiful- inside & out. Second, I want you to know that you have my complete support as you start this journey. It is so admirable that you are setting out to make big changes! Lets support each other! I'd love to have you hold me accountable & vice versa. Again- I think it's incredible that you put yourself out here & I KNOW you CAN and WILL do it! Love to you Elle!

  5. Hi,
    I found your blog while I was blog hopping (at work.. ssshhh) I can relate to how you are feeling about your weight. If you ever need anyone or anything please let me know!! Or if you just need someone to hold you accountable for working out. My best friend is this gorgeous women who owns her own fitness business and is a personal trainer in a different city. She makes me accountable by sending her pictures of myself after I workout. The ugliest, sweaty, face red, clothes all sweaty pictures. You would be surprised how much it has helped!
    Just a thought :)

    Reach out if you need anything!!!

  6. YESSS!!!!! You go girl!! I'll support you. You already have your mind set to change some things about your life style and that's the first step!! Side note, have you tried spaghetti squash instead of pasta? No joke, it's delicious!!


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