Tuesday, January 20, 2015

The Hardest Breakup

This is a breakup letter. It is not easy to write but I feel the need to share my feelings while they are fresh.

Dear School,

How are you? How was your day? I ask because I genuinely care. I care about your success, about the people who work and attend you. I have cared for the past 3 years! Can you believe it has been 3 years already? Our time together has gone by so fast, yet so slow. Alright School, please read this whole letter. It will explain a lot. You see, I'm breaking up with you.

Please stop being upset, I know it isn't sincere. You have made it abundantly clear, multiple times, that I am replaceable. I think that is the first reason I'm breaking up. I don't feel like you genuinely care about me, or anyone else for that matter. In the past 3 years, we have gone through 8 administrators. Clearly they are replaceable to you as well. We have lost several good teachers and replaced them, then lost those ones and replaced them again. People are replaceable to you.

The second reason I am breaking up with you is your inability to listen. Do you know what that word means? Let me put it in 3rd grade terms for you, it means to close your mouth, open your ears, and hear the words that are being said. When I honestly tell you something, listen and make changes. If something is not working, then listen to how we can fix it. Also, be open to those who surround you and have various life experiences. Which brings me to my 3rd reason.

You have favorites. Yep, I said it. There are those select few teachers who got on your good side. Those who were quiet and didn't voice their opinion. These people who agree with everything you said just to make it easier. Or they are in "THE FAMILY". Yes, I have dubbed thee elite members of the favorites club "The Family". Why you ask? Isn't it obvious? Everyone is related to you in some way. They are cousins, in-laws, brothers, sisters and parents. Of course everyone will agree with you when you have to tolerate them at the holidays. I'm not in The Family. I tried to be. I tried to keep my mouth closed, and say yes. I tried to take your "wisdom" and apply it to my life. Guess what happened? Do you remember? You said I was condescending. You said I was the selfish one. You said I didn't believe in the better of the school. You are wrong.

My next reason I'm breaking up with you is how abusive this relationship is. I am up and ready to serve you by 7:00 a.m. I work hard all day and am the best I can be. I don't leave till 5 or 6 p.m and when I do leave, I trail behind a full tote of work to do at home. Once home, I work some more, answer emails from parents and students (because I need to work on my communication skills according to you), and finally go to bed between 10-11 p.m and repeat for the following 4 days. Did I forget to mention the teacher conferences without pay? Or the wasted professional development time? How about the fact that I spend so much time consumed with you, that it takes away time from my loved ones? Or the fact that someone who works in retail gets paid more than I do. All of these are so abusive. Emotionally and physically. I can't take it anymore.

My last reason is this. I'm just down right tired of the roller-coaster game you play with me. Things will just be starting to get better when you push me down and stomp all over me. The last straw was tonight. I will no longer put forth hours and hours and hours into our relationship for you to not recognize me at all. I will no longer play nice, or dumb, and lie to others about you. You see School, you have taken advantage of me too many times. Try to do curriculum night without my powerpoint, or try to have an academics committee with my insight, and lastly, try to see if you can get my students to be as passionate, without a passionate teacher.

I'm really sad that our 3 year relationship has come to this bitter end. I will always love you as my first school, and cherish the memories we created. But in the end, it came down to you and the choices you made. I'm choosing to be happy and take my talents where they are valued.